Practical Shyness Tips That Work Everytime!

We all get a little shy when talking to new people or new experiences.

Here are some useful suggestions and ideas that can help you overcome shyness and speak up when you need to in order to achieve your goals... 

Shyness is a problem for millions of people around the world and unfortunately, there is no magic potion that will eliminate shyness or one simple suggestion that can be of assistance to all shy people. 

If you want to overcome shyness and improve your social life, you will have to be flexible and try various things that may be helpful for you personally.

The things that are of the most help to some shy people will not work as well for others. Trial and error and a desire to succeed are the keys to finding what works best for you.

You could ask yourself these two questions to explore what it is that is causing your shyness.

Why are you scared of people?  When exploring my own shyness, I had a fear of not being accepted or liked. I would worry that they may hurt me or take the micky because of the things I’ve said. When asking this question to myself I realised that this was me being paranoid, so I decided that if I don’t try, I won’t know.

So, I then asked why are you afraid of socializing? When exploring this I felt that because I did not feel that I had a lot to say and believed people would think I was boring. I made assumptions about myself that made me believe that this was the case and that meant nobody would want to be friends with me even if I put myself out there. This was comprehended by the fact that when I made small efforts to socialise, because I was so shy, I didn’t let anyone close enough to become a friend. This made it almost feel like a self-proclaimed prophecy. I decided that I had to find a way to develop my self-esteem and shyness and put myself out there. I started working on a variety of methods and got support from the close friends that I did have, and I just tried my best to see what happens.

When you are shy you may feel that you don’t have anything to talk about, so it is good practice to research some conversational topics and have a list of things that you can can talk about.  

A good conversationalist is always prepared with topics that may be of interest to the people they know they will encounter in a certain situation. This does not mean that you need to know a lot about a lot of things but knowing a little about a range of things. Current events, the weather, and local news are always good conversation starters. Research enough to start a conversation and be able to contribute to the conversation, but remember listening to the conversation means you can learn more about the topics.

Remember to ask friends and colleagues about previously mentioned plans and activities.  This means that you can be well prepared for the social situation. A little advance planning can reduce your anxiety immensely.  

 If you suffer from extreme shyness, a good shyness tip is to explain the problem to those you encounter on a regular basis. If you can share with people that are getting to know you they can help you to feel more comfortable around them.

People tend to be very understanding and helpful if you explain the problem in a way that simply lets them know you are shy, and not in a way designed to gain sympathy. 

There are many types of shyness, but two that I want to talk about here. There are those who are obviously shy and tend to become visibly uncomfortable in social situations, and those who simply avoid eye contact, are unusually quiet and tend to look at the floor. The average person may draw the wrong conclusion about those who are not so obviously shy. You may appear to be aloof or arrogant to others unless you simply explain your shyness to those closest to you. 

While on the path to overcoming shyness, make sure to reward yourself for small accomplishments along the way. It doesn't have to be a huge reward or a big celebration, just a pat on the back or a special treat will do very nicely. 

Another often-overlooked shyness tip is to go out of your way to be helpful to others. Shyness tends to make people totally absorbed with themselves and their own problems. So if you can change that energy to focus on helping others it can help you distract your brain from feeling shy.

Learning to make the effort to assist other people in small ways will do wonders for your self-esteem and give you confidence in how you interact with new people. Making others feel special is a great way to lessen your anxiety and difficulty carrying on a conversation. 

While practicing the shyness tips you have learned, don't go overboard, and try to change every trait at one time. Pick one skill at a time and practice the new skill until it becomes natural and habitual. 

Then move on to the next thing you'd like to change. Keep tackling and mastering one skill at a time until you overcome your shyness and learn to function in any social setting. 

A little bit of shyness is natural in new circumstances but hopefully these tips will help you manage your shyness.